Plotting in the Garden, Vol. 1

Plotting in the Garden: Chapter One - Delusion Meets Dirt

Welcome to my gardening series, “Plotting in the Garden,” where I bravely (read: recklessly) attempt to prove that I might not have a green thumb, but hey—miracles happen every day. This is my space to document what will either be a beautiful journey toward homegrown abundance… or the slow, tragic demise of several innocent plants. Either way, you’re in for a show.

So here’s how it started: I was at work, minding my business, when a Very Important Thought struck me out of nowhere—I want to grow rainbow carrots. Why? No clue. Maybe it’s the cottagecore fever. Maybe it’s my subconscious rebelling against grocery store prices. Either way, I fired off a text to Erik (my forever partner in chaos) and said, “I want to grow rainbow carrots.”

Without missing a beat, he replied, “Cool. What do we need?”

This is your sign to find yourself an Erik. One who doesn’t question your whims, only asks for a supply list. He’s truly down for the shenanigans, even if it involves potential carrot-related heartbreak. Alexa play “Whatta Man”.

So here’s the plan:

We’re starting with a few herbs (because it feels like every self-respecting garden has basil) and maybe a few other plants I’m delusional enough to believe I can keep alive. It’s giving “urban farm dreamer meets Pinterest board,” and honestly, I’m here for it. Erik already had a blood orange tree, an extremely thriving rosemary bush, and a beautiful rose bush. So the goal there is to revive the blood orange tree while also keeping the others thriving.

Now, because chaos loves company, we went ahead and planted a whole lineup: peppermint, basil, chives, lavender (for vibes, obviously), bachelor buttons, zinnias, and sunflowers—my absolute favorite flower. The rainbow carrots are still the endgame (and we have the seeds) so this will give us the kick in the butt to build (or buy) our raised flower bed. You know, real adult gardening stuff.

Meanwhile, AG (tiny CEO of her own destiny) decided she’s starting her own project—with strawberries. 

My ultimate goal? A dreamy little farm-to-table kitchen situation where I can say things like, “Oh, these? Just some carrots I picked this morning.” Will I get there? Who knows. But we’re gonna try. We’re gonna plant. And we’re gonna pray.

Stay tuned for dirt, drama, and maybe a few tears over basil. 🪴