Bougie Kids Eats: Avocado
AG’s Iconic Avocado Toast; Moana plate and multivitamin optional
From Puree to Pure Sass: The Evolution of an Avocado Toast Queen 🥑✨
Let’s talk about breakfast drama—because in this house, we don’t just eat breakfast. We curate it.
While most 9-year-olds are waking up with bedhead and cereal crumbs, mine is out here living her best brunch life. Meet AG: avocado toast enthusiast, bagel snob, and tiny human with the breakfast palate of a Beverly Hills wellness coach.
Every morning, without fail, she requests her signature dish. Not pancakes. Not waffles. Not even a simple bowl of cereal (pssh—basic). No, she wants avocado toast—and not just any version. We’re talking one full avocado (half is offensive), mashed like it owes her money, seasoned to perfection, and piled high on a toasted Dave’s Killer Everything Bagel. Because apparently, we’re fancy now.
And look, I didn’t mean to raise a bougie breakfast queen. It just kind of… happened. One day I was blending avocados and bananas for her baby food (yes, bananas were once allowed in this house), and now she gags at the mere sight of one. Bananas? Dead to her. Ghosted. Blocked. 🍌🚫
Taste buds are fickle, y’all. But somehow, the avocado stayed. It’s her one true breakfast love. The only thing that might tempt her away? A potato, egg, and cheese taco. And I say might because even that gets a side-eye if it’s not from her preferred taco spot. Yes, she has one. No, I’m not telling you where it is—I need the line to stay short.
So, here we are. I spend more money on avocados than I did on diapers. Our grocery list is 80% green fruit and overpriced bagels. And when she runs out of lemon wedges? Oh honey, there will be chaos. 😮💨
But honestly? I can’t even be mad. She knows what she likes. She’s consistent. And she makes her toast with the kind of confidence I wish I had before 10am.
Want to eat like AG and join the tiny brunch boss club? Here's her no-fail formula:
🥯 AG’s Iconic Avocado Toast 🥑
Ingredients:
1 ripe avocado (whole—do not skimp)
Garlic salt (just enough to sass it up)
Black pepper
1 lemon wedge (mandatory)
Super seeds blend - chia seeds, hemp seeds, flax seeds or Everything bagel seasoning (liberally applied)
Dave’s Killer Everything Bagels (because she has taste)
Instructions:
Toast your bagel. Crispy, but not burnt—we’re not animals.
Mash the avocado in a bowl. AG uses a fork, but you do you.
Squeeze in lemon juice. Not too much. Not too little. AG believes the more tart the better.
Season with garlic salt and black pepper until it feels right
Spread it like a boss. Sprinkle on top the super seeds or Everything Bagel seasoning like you're seasoning your enemies.
Optional: Top with a fried egg, bacon, or sausage if you’re feeling extra extra🍳🥓
AG might be 9, but her breakfast game is 30, flirty, and thriving. And honestly? I aspire to be as consistent in life as she is with her avocado toast.
🥑✨ What’s your kid’s breakfast ride-or-die? Drop it in the comments—or better yet, join us in the bougie brunch club.
